Life in general.

Well where do I start the weather has been nice here up until Wednesday of this week. I tried to take advantage of it as much as I could. I got all my flower beds cleaned out and ready for spring. I let the kids play outside as much as possible we went for walks and Addilee rode her bike. We were enjoying our selves. We got to have a picnic with Grandma Staheli while she was out of commission. The kids really enjoyed it and has lots of fun something so simple as a picnic on the grass who would have known. I guess it will be something I have will have to remember for when the weather turns off nice.

Ben has been working out of town which is always normal if you know the circumstances but he normally drives back and worth but with gas getting so expensive it's not worth it. I would love to have him home everyday but that isn't the case. He is now working way to far away from home to even drive home if he wanted too. He would get home way to late and then have to leave way way to early. So it's not really worth it. The kids and I miss him a lot and wish he was here but you have to do what you have to do. Some day's are worse then others but I think that is normal. Addilee is old enough now to notice that dad isn't coming home and always asks why so I have to try to explain to her why which is hard sometimes. But it is also really hard on Ben not being home all the time. He misses the kids a lot and he knows he misses out on a lot of things but, sometimes it is just what you have to do. I am so thankful for everything he does for our family. Even if it means he and I have to sacrifice things.

We got some really scary news this week and I would love to share it with you but I don't want everyone and there dog to know what is going on until I know for sure myself. Which I will share when the time comes and I know all the details. I am really struggling with this especially because Ben isn't here but also because of the problem. I am supper scared but am trying to deal with it the best I can. Life isn't just going to stop and wait till it's over. Life still goes on and I have little kids I need to take care of. They need me to be strong for them. I am trying to and take it day by day I think that is the best I can do right now. I know I can handle it even though it will be extremely hard but I can't worry about just myself I have others that come first. I think that will probably be the only thing that will get me through this. And just so you know the only reason why I am even writing this is to release some stress and pressure in my life right now. Deep down I am dieing inside so putting on a front even though it may not be great is all I can do for right now. Until I find out what is going on. I am sorry to leave you out in the dark but it is for the best right now. And writing this is making me feel better and that is all I was looking for at the moment. I am so SORRY!!!!!

We had a girls night out at my sister in laws house with my mother in law and a couple of my sister in laws and all the girl grand kids. My mother in law made dinner for all the kids. They got to play together and watch movies and we made bracelets. It was fun and I really needed to time out to try to get my mind off of other things. Patton was the only boy there for most of the time and he really enjoyed himself. I doubt any of them read my blog but THANKS for the fun time. It was nice to get out and spend time with you.

Other then what I have talked about we really haven't been up to much around here. Which kind of sucks it seems like we haven't done anything all winter but I know that isn't true. We have done somethings. We went bowling a couple of weeks ago with all of Ben's family except one brother his wife and there kids. It was lots of fun and Addilee and Patton had tons of fun. Ben's dad was getting ready to go back to Alaska so it was a kind of a last big get together before he left. His mom is still here and will be for a little bit but not sure just how long. One of his brothers is going up the end of this month and I think another brother and his wife and kids are going up this summer. So maybe we will be the only ones left here who knows.

Sorry for just blabbering on but it felt good to at least say a few things. Hopefully more posts to come. THANKS!!!!